


Requiem

by sunnyshouyo



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF, rupauls drag race - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Dreaming, F/F, M/M, Nightmares, One Shot, Short One Shot, Suicide, Touring, Trixie is left behind, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 06:42:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17218874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnyshouyo/pseuds/sunnyshouyo
Summary: “I can’t lie, I miss Katya with all my fucking heart, my world is dark without her. She was my only source of light.”Trixie breaks.





	Requiem

It had been days after Katya had been found dead. Trixie didn’t cancel any of her performances for her tour, but continued to perform all across the states. Everybody believed that Trixie didn’t care, as anyone would cancel after their best friend was found dead to go back to their home and mourn, but Trixie wasn’t everybody. “Trixie? How are you doing?” Violet said down the phone to her, worried as it was totally unlike Trixie to be so active after something so utterly tragic. “I’m fine Violet, just finishing this tour, so I’m busy.” Trixie said bluntly. Usually when Trixie found herself heart broken and destroyed she’d find herself on her sofa, eating about four tubs of ice cream before Katya would come and try to take her out somewhere or cheer her up. “Trixie you know I’m never the nicest to talk too but, if you need anything please tell me and i’ll catch the next flight for you.” Violet said down the phone, Trixie feeling like she was going to break any minute, but kept herself together. “Thanks Violet, I gotta get ready now. It’s the last show.” Trixie said, putting the phone down as she felt like sobbing in her dressing room. She never thought she’d finish this tour without Katya, but there she was. 

After the meet and greet and the show, Trixie found herself bombarded by reporters as she was leaving. “Trixie how are you doing with the death of Katya?” one reporter asked, Trixie quivering at their words. “Fine.” she responded. “but are you really okay?” they continued to press at Trixie, until she snapped. “Why should i play the grieving girl and lie y’know? I don’t want people to feel bad for me. I miss Katya with all my heart. My worlds gone fucking dark without her and please do not tell me i wasn’t right, when i said confidently that Katya was struggling to somebody and they leaked it to you, where you dragged me through the dirt for fucking saying it. Katya tried to get help, she really did. Hell she might still be here if it wasn’t told to everyone and she felt she had to perform for everyone so people would debunk her issue. Please, go ahead and write this so people know i wasn’t the one who fucked up, I told my close friend and who knew someone was ease-dropping on our conversation. I feel bad for even telling Violet about it, every day since Katya left me, because she’d still be here.” Trixie sobbed, being pulled into the back of her ride. She was going to regret snapping like that, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t pretend to act fine when in reality she was anything but that. Once Trixie arrived back at her apartment she smelt the scent of Katya and her cigarettes that would always stink out the apartment. Trixie moved her stuff back into her room, looking at the photo of Katya and her on their first tour back in 2015. “I finished it Katya, I really did.” Trixie semi sobbed, putting the picture frame down. 

Roughly a month later Katya’s funeral took place and almost everybody was there. Bianca and Adore had flown in all the way from Australia where they were on their honeymoon. “Katya would of loved this.” Katya’s mom said, hugging Trixie close to her and fixing the flower Trixie was wearing. Everybody had a red flower as it was Katya’s favourite colour and fans across the world had sent photos of tributes left for Katya. As the service was ended and Katya was lifted out to the herse, Trixie and Pat sobbed. Trixie’s only love was gone, Pat’s child was gone. Everybody was sobbing as Katya was lowered into the ground. Katya knew everyone and was a dear friend to all the drag race girls and to all of her friends. Trixie took her flower off and put it in with Katya as she was lowered. Her soulmate had left her.

Later that night as Trixie arrived back home she sighed and went to her vinyl player, where a letter was crammed in with her Dolly Parton vinyl. “Hey Trixie. I didn’t know if you’d ever see this, but i’m so sorry for everything. Well obviously you would see it, you Dolly slut! I know you’ll be mad that I chose to go early but I’m better off like this. I blame you for nothing and I love you so much. Please give my money too my mom and donate it to whatever charity she wants and please please please use my wigs. I know they smell nasty but i’ve had my best memories in them. Always love you, Trixie. - Katya. (ps i never liked that bowl cut.)” Trixie was sobbing but laughing at the last sentence. She couldn’t go on. Trixie sobbed as she reached for Katya’s vodka that she kept and for anything she could use in the cupboard. She took them all and washed them down with vodka. 

Trixie woke up to the light peeking through her blinds and a familiar voice frantic on the phone. “K-Katya?” she murmured, opening her eyes to see her. “VIOLET I THINK SHE MIGHT BE IN A COMA SHE WONT WAKE UP” Katya panicked down the phone “WE HAVE FILMING AT 2” Katya continued, looking back at Trixie who was awake, tears running down her face. “Jesus fucking christ Barbara, i thought you died.” Katya laughed, putting the phone down. “Yeah me too.” Trixie sobbed, pulling Katya close to her in a hug. “I dreamt you died, you left me mid tour and I had to finish it on my own. Never do that Katya, Please.” Trixie sobbed, Katya smiling, pressing a kiss on Trixie’s lips. It tasted like salty tears, gross. 

“I won’t.” Katya smiled, “now get up, we have filming at two and Violet’s coming for lunch.” She snorted, throwing a pillow at Trixie.

**Author's Note:**

> hahah this is really angry and depressing i’m sorry so i added a sort of nice ending (they aren’t dead trixie was dreaming c:)


End file.
